Lots of ChronicBabes put way too much pressure on ourselves to be perfectly reliable and present for everything—and to always plan fun outings and events. But babe, most of your friends don’t care if you’ve planned a special outing. What they really care about is connecting with you. They’re probably just as happy staying in, doing a face mask and watching a bad movie.

And who do you know how is perfectly reliable? I mean, really? Anyone? The reality is, no one can be perfectly reliable—it’s just now how humans operate.

You can be a good friend by planning fun times that work for YOU, and YOUR good friends will come along for the ride.

Today’s video is all about how to be a good friend, which you totally can do! Even with chronic illness. Watch it now:

*AWAP = As Well As Possible

Now it’s your turn:

How do you make sure you’re always being a good friend? How do you handle scheduling with friends? Share your experience in the comments below.

Want more #AWAPwednesday? Check out our #AWAPwednesday video playlist, which has more than 100 videos packed with practical advice, lots of humor, and bloopers. Lots of bloopers.

Is there a question I can answer for YOU? Add it to the comments below, or shoot me an email.

Until we meet again: Be AWAP! Smooches!


(Loose) Transcript:

Lots of ChronicBabes put way too much pressure on ourselves to be perfectly reliable and present for everything – and to always plan fun outings and events. But babe, most of your friends don’t care if you’ve planned a special outing. What they really care about is connecting with you. They’re probably just as happy staying in, doing a face mask and watching a bad movie.

And who do you know how is perfectly reliable? I mean, really? Anyone? The reality is, no one can be perfectly reliable – it’s just now how humans operate.

You can be a good friend by planning fun times that work for YOU, and YOUR good friends will come along for the ride.

Your illness might be something like Crohn’s or fibromyalgia, which can cause big flare-ups out of nowhere – so you may be fearful of making plans in advance.

That doesn’t mean you can’t make an effort to see folks. While some people don’t have the flexibility to do last-minute stuff, plenty of folks do – so give yourself permission to host last-minute gatherings whenever you feel like it. Just don’t take it personally if some people can’t make it – just like you hope your friends don’t take it personally when you have to cancel.

You can be a good friend by continuing to invite folks to lunch or movies whenever you’re up to it. Even if three times out of four, they can’t make it, that one time they CAN is great – and they’ll appreciate your ongoing efforts to connect.

Lots of us fixate on the outings we can’t go to, and assume all of our friends are always able to participate. But this is false. Social media can really feed into the perception that everyone is having fun without us, causing FOMO (fear of missing out).

Your friends aren’t going out as often as you think they are, believe me. And you’re not a bad friend if you’re not going out with them all the time. You ARE being a bad friend if you drop out of their life because you’re embarrassed or pissed off about missing things. Your friends will be sad if you sometimes miss things, but they’ll be really hurt if you just disappear without explanation.

You can be a good friend by asking them about their experiences, even if you couldn’t make it – because that shows you care. It’s not always easy, but if you can try to focus on feeling joy for them, it can ease your sadness.

You can also be a great friend by continuing to stay in touch, through texting, Facebook messenger, social media – whatever works for you. Heck, you can even tweet from the toilet. The effort you make to stay connected with friends, even if it’s not in person, is meaningful.

The best way to be a good friend is to stay connected.

You don’t have to physically be there to be there for your friends, babe.

 

Thanks for watching today! I would love to hear how you stay connected with friends even if you can’t see them in person. Share your strategy in the comments here or head on over to the blog at ChronicBabe.com to join the conversation—I want to hear what YOU have to say.

If you liked what you saw today, subscribe to our channel—and watch another one of my favorite videos right now. I think you’re gonna like it!
Until we meet again, be AWAP! Smooches!