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AWAP Wednesday: How Do I Handle Unwanted Advice?

Posted by on Sep 17, 2014 in caregivers, coping, featured, friends and family, relationships | 29 comments

Your Aunt Sally wants to help you find a “real” doctor who will “cure” your rheumatoid arthritis. Your friend Reggie seems to think a vegan gluten-free paleo diet is just what you need to feel better, and he’s pretty insistent. Your co-worker Pam keeps bringing up your anxiety during staff meetings because she believes that talk therapy helps…and she seems to consider herself your therapist. Sound familiar? I bet it does! In fact, I would bet you money there’s not a single one of us ChronicBabes who hasn’t been insulted by someone with well-meaning intention who gives crap advice. So, what to do when faced with unwanted, unsolicited advice? Check out today’s video, in which I describe a pretty simple conversational model for handling conversations with folks who give unsolicited advice: Now it’s your turn: How have you handled conversations about “cures” and “salves” and “crazy unsolicited advice?” What works for you, and what has flopped? If you care to, share your story in the comments below this video’s post. We have AWESOME conversations every day at the site and I would LOVE for you to be part of the community! Did you like this video? Please “like” it on YouTube or Facebook and share it with your friends through social media. Want to watch more videos like this? Check out our AWAP Wednesday video playlist, which has more than four hours of guidance, advice, and bloopers. Is there a question I can answer for YOU? Add it to the comments below, or shoot me an email. Until we meet again: Be AWAP! Smooches! *AWAP = As Well As...

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AWAP Wednesday: The Suicide Edition.

Posted by on Jul 23, 2014 in caregivers, depression, featured, friends and family, suicide | 59 comments

It’s been a rough couple days here at ChronicBabe HQ. I lost a family member to suicide this week, and it’s shaken me to the core. Why did she do it? Why didn’t she accept help long before this week? Why didn’t anyone take her previous attempts seriously? Why am I so mad and sad at the same time? Why do I empathize with her and also fear that feeling? I’m all mixed up. Unfortunately, suicide is quite common among those with chronic physical and mental illnesses, as well as chronic pain. Some research has claimed that 10% of suicides are committed by people with chronic illness or pain. A study published in JAMA agrees, citing back pain as an even stronger motivator of suicidal ideation. In light of this week’s experience and these statistics, I am foregoing my usual AWAP Wednesday video and instead posting a ton of resources on suicide. I hope you can understand why. Please join me in sending light and love to all who contemplate or commit suicide, and to their friends, families and other loved ones, who are left behind with so many questions. And please, please y’all – let’s leave judgment at the door. Last but not least: I’m sure I’ve left off some amazing resources. Please add any you wish in the comments below. Resources: For those who are considering suicide, and their loved ones To Write Love On Her Arms (TWLOHA) – a non-profit movement dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. National Suicide Prevention Hotline – a 24-hour, toll-free, confidential suicide prevention hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Suicide Hotlines organized by state – just what it sounds like. – created by United Way, this site provides free and confidential resources on health care, housing, counseling and more. Veterans Crisis Line – connects Veterans in crisis (and their friends and families) with qualified, caring Department of Veterans Affairs employees through a confidential, toll-free hotline, online chat or text. I Am Alive – an online crisis network, 100% of whose volunteers are trained and certified in crisis intervention. Thinking…About Suicide – a Christian faith-based organization offering a platform for those contemplating suicide, as well as survivors, to talk about their feelings. Kevin Briggs, Golden Gate guardian, TED Talk – a message for families of those who are contemplating suicide, from someone who has helped many. Suicide: The warning signs Suicide Awareness Voices of Education – this site offers this concise list of things to watch out for, plus a ton of other resources. WebMD – this tried-and-true healthcare site has its own take on the signs to watch...

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Info posted here should not be considered medical advice; it's not intended to replace consultation with physicians or other health care providers. 

Every Babe needs to find her own path for achieving optimal wellness. While we do tons to help guide you, it’s up to each of you to make well-informed choices and live with the consequences. assumes no liability or responsibility for stuff that goes wrong.

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