Last week, some folks decided to jump into a ChronicBabe Facebook conversation and be disrespectful to others. It sucked.
The conversation was originally about a handful of stories about chronic illness and how relatable they are. Then one person declared that one of the women profiled was using an incorrect diagnosis, and that it was “pseudoscience.” I stepped in to stop the thread, asking folks to back off and be respectful. They didn’t; in fact, they stepped up their efforts. It was very upsetting for many people, and I eventually deleted the whole post to shut down the conversation.
I hated doing this! The ChronicBabe community is built on a solid foundation of mutual respect and support, so it’s awful when some folks can’t see that. I understand that they were well-meaning, but no matter their intentions, they were being rude and disrespectful.
So today’s video is a handful of thoughts I have about this event, and a reassurance that I will always protect ChronicBabe and keep it positively awesome. Even if the tone of the nation’s conversation about chronic pain and illness is trending negative, we don’t have to follow suit.
I’m so eager to hear what you think! Watch today’s video, and then chime in below.
*AWAP = As Well As Possible
Now it’s your turn:
Have you faced bullying or negative feedback online? How did you react? Were you able to steer the conversation toward a more productive outcome? I would love to know! Share your experience in the comments below.
Want more #AWAPwednesday? Check out our #AWAPwednesday video playlist, which has more than 100 videos packed with practical advice, lots of humor, and bloopers. Lots of bloopers.
Is there a question I can answer for YOU? Add it to the comments below, or shoot me an email.
Until we meet again: Be AWAP! Smooches!
I’ve faced it before on FB and I had to block people because it was just so frustrating and time-consuming.
I’ve been going through negative feedback over the last two days outside of the social platforms because of people who feel that the only reason a sick person misses an appointment, falls behind schedule, etc. is because that person isn’t planning well enough for the future or putting in enough effort into doing work and chores when he/she feels a bit better.
I just had a healthy person tell me that if I plan to do something, I should do it immediately rather than make a plan at all. You would never hear a healthy person say something so ridiculous to another healthy person. Sick people shouldn’t make any type of plans? The planning isn’t a problem if the person has planned into their schedule ways to work around delays, which I do regularly. The problem is when the delays are compounded by sudden emergencies or idiots that waste their time. And, I’ve seen that there’s no end of sympathy for healthy people that have to re-schedule, perhaps more than once, because of emergencies or any type of delay caused by external forces. Yet, sick people need to be more responsible even though they have even less control over their lives. SMH.
wow, what a negative person – i’m sorry you had to be treated that way. ludicrous! keep fighting the good fight <3
Such a great video. Such a great heart! And if we are not supporting but bringing down then why bother.
I am an admin on 2 FB sites. We talk, share, hug, listen, sometimes advise, but we don’t allow demeaning, badgering or bullying! Its a hard call to ban. But I will, in those few instances, take one person off to save the feelings of the other who is now feeling abused.
Thanks for being there and giving me guidance to share with others.
((Gentle Hugs))
Nana
thank you, babe! i appreciate the reinforcement. thank you for what YOU are doing for our community! hugs –
Bullying is NEVER okay. Thank you for nipping it in the bud. Being respectful and loving is not pollyannaish, nor unrealistic. Thank you!
rock and roll, thanks gladys! hugs!
WONDERFUL VIDEO!!
I’m one of the rare ones. My family and friends didn’t doubt me when my (fill in the blank, whatever) pain started. In the meantime I’ve heard such horror stories from others about friends and family accusing people of everything from drug abuse to just being lazy.
I honestly can’t imagine going through all of that stress on top of chronic pain. And we all know the stress makes it worse.
Yesterday was one of the worst days I’ve had in months. On top of the pain I had some serious emotional stress, which goes round and round making everything worse.
Today is better ? And I really felt blessed by your positive message and determination to protect “yours”.
Gentle hugs & may God bless you all.
aw, thanks for saying that! i love that you have such a supportive community – i’m really thankful they’re all there for you. you deserve it. we all do! many hugs –
Well said, Jenni.
Too often we fight amoung ourselves – generally taking our own frustrations off on those who are trying to support us.
Thank you for providing a safe place for us all ChronicBabes to just be Babes – without fear of people acting “trollish”.
Bully-free zone.
Gentle hugs
thanks BJ! <3
thanks allison! hugs!
Love this video. I think all chronic illnesses were once thought of as pseudoscience. In any event, we are here to support each other. We don’t have to supply the answers, but a shoulder to lean on is very helpful.
so true.
I have had to deal with that before on FB and from what I call fair weather friends. It is so very painful . I do, however, have a supportive husband, mom, two kids and mother in law. I am greatful for that every day. Thank you for protecting those who come here for loving support. I made a shirt for my 10 year old son to wear to school on FM Awareness Day
( because he was sweet and wanted to show support for his Mom) and some of the teachers had no idea what FM was. So, I will be putting together a FM 5k walk with the help of the FM foundation in Winchester , Va for May 2017. I hope to have vendor booths with information, food vendors, live music and a key note speaker from the foundation. It will be to support Awareness and funding reaserch. I have never done anything like this before, so wish me luck . This is also my first visit to chronic babe . Great videos. Thank you for all your support.
Tracey Conover
so glad you have a lovely support team on your side. such a beautiful thing. can’t wait to hear how your walk goes next year!
Hi. I just found you today as you were talking about what I consider some very appropriate discipline regarding rudeness toward people who mostly are in constant pain. I felt protected and I felt hope for a cheerful blog. I’ve had fibromyalgia for so many years that I have lost count. As it’s cohorts, back surgery and crazy all-over arthritis, joined in, I have been creative in telling my five new doctors where “it” hurts! Last night I decided to take off my pain patch so the pain pills will work better! I probably can get by with aspirin and tylenol after a while, maybe a year!
I feel happy–happiness to you!
Hello All. Coming back to this post, of BE NICE because I had an incident with my dentist today who penalized me for being sick (having a flare) on appointment day charging $390 for it (no problem), double booking (no problem) and rubbing it in my face ever so sweetly that they were taking their time because they didn’t know if I was coming. That was the part that enraged me. Your are making me feel like crap because of my illness! -And I was on the couch all weekend!! I got up and left and told them I would have to reschedule. I had been at the dentist 1 hr and 30 minutes. This was out of line. I had already informed my dentist of this condition. How do you all deal with insensitive doctors, dentists, family, friends, grocers, etc.?? Thanks, Jenni.
Dentist or front desk? There is no way you should put up with this kind of insensitivity. I’m so sorry. If it’s front desk then get to the dentist and tell him how you were treated. If it was hoping ALSO I’m not sure who to report to. American Dental Association maybe.
((Gentle Hugs))