Venting

Apparently I touched a nerve the other day with my piece on wishing I didn't care so much about what others think. Turns out I'm not the only Babe who spends too much time worrying about what others think think of me. In fact, besides the get over it piece, this one brought out tons of reader comments. So many, in fact, that I thought I'd share them with you. Sometimes it just feels good to commiserate.

Posted: 5/8/2008 in Venting  |  Also posted in: Coping

I want to live my life and not imagine what other people are thinking of me. If I released all that wasted thought, I could do so much more. I could cancel dinner plans when I'm feeling fatigued and not spend time I should be relaxing thinking that my friends feel disappointed. I could wear sweatpants when I don't have the energy to pick out a cute outfit, instead of trying on a bunch of things when I could be getting my errands finished quickly and then relaxing. I could be moving on from an awkward conversation and relaxing instead of replaying it over and over in my mind. Do you see a trend here? For a Babe with anxiety and fibromyalgia, I sure spend a lot of time thinking about meaningless crap and using up all my valuable time and energy.

Posted: 4/27/2008 in Venting  |  Also posted in: Coping

If you have fibromyalgia, you've probably read Alex Berenson's article on fibromyalgia, which appeared in the New York Times on January 14, 2008. If you're like me, it made you mad. Real mad. Here's my unpublished letter to the editor, plus responses from Paula Kamen, Lynne Matallana, and others. Join the fight to be heard!

Posted: 1/20/2008 in Venting

From Editrix Jenni: Let's pretend it's 2009, and our next prez has just been sworn in. Here's the letter I will write. Will you write one, too?

Posted: 1/13/2008 in Venting

Regular readers of the site know that ChronicBabe is not all about me. Yes, I created (and run) the site. Yes, I write personal stories to share my experiences as a ChronicBabe. But it's not a conventional blog, focusing on just me me me. It's more about sharing ideas to help YOU, dear readers, and building a collective of many voices.

But this recovery period I've been in since our house was nearly destroyed in THE STORM in August has just about had me whipped, and I haven't felt the kind of energy I usually do, the energy that feeds me helpful ideas to share with you all. I've been drained.

So tonight, I decided to write to you about how living through a trauma like this is SO MUCH like living with chronic illness, so much like coping with a diagnosis and dealing with the aftermath. I think that if I get some of this off my chest, I'll be clear and ready to write productively again for you. And I want that very, very badly right now. So here goes...my laundry list.*

*P.S. For evidence that I am not always so negative, please see the rest of this site. :)

Posted: 10/15/2007 in Venting  |  Also posted in: Coping

Is it possible to re-claim a word that has negative connotations and make it our own, turn it into something positive? We think so. Jenni Prokopy wrote this article for Young People For (she's been a guest blogger there during the month of May, so check out some of her other posts at the site!), and they've given us permission to reprint a slightly modified version of it here.

Posted: 5/22/2007 in Venting  |  Also posted in: Inspiration

I've written about this before. There's a very simple question people should ask before they touch you in any way: "May I touch you?" It's that easy. In my case, the answer usually is no. (Of course, we make allowances for family and love interests and such.) Unfortunately, some people just don't get it. And for those of us who seem to have a "please, go ahead and grope me awkwardly" sign on our backs, I'm offering another reminder of how to respond when unwanted touch happens.

Posted: 2/6/2007 in Venting  |  Also posted in: Relationships

Progress is not linear. I've heard that at least a half dozen times from various health care professionals, but I'm always shocked when the truth of that simple statement is played out in my life.

Posted: 9/18/2006 in Venting

When we wrote recently about talking to naysayers, we had no idea how strongly it would impact our readers. We were flooded with e-mails! Clearly, learning how to respond to negative people is a hot issue for ChronicBabes. We've gathered a collection of responses, to give you some ideas to use in your own life. You may not agree with everyone's perspective but they are worth considering.

Posted: 7/25/2006 in Venting  |  Also posted in: Relationships

What happens when you encounter a naysayer, someone who doubts the validity of who you are or what you do - or even asks why you can't just "fix" your illness and "get on with your life"? Do you take their opinions personally and argue your point, or do you give them up as a lost cause? Editrix Jenni Prokopy encountered a serious naysayer this weekend and decided she needs a new plan for dealing with negative folks.

Posted: 7/5/2006 in Venting  |  Also posted in: Relationships

Sometimes, no matter what anyone says or what's going on, you just need to yell. You need to scream, you need to cry, you need to howl. Because sometimes, being a ChronicBabe sucks. Now, I know this is not what you're used to hearing from me. It's not a sentiment I express often. But I have to just throw this out there: every once in a while, no matter how good you are at managing your chronic, something is going to happen that is just a little too much.

Posted: 3/28/2006 in Venting

Yup. He said, in regard to my pain, "get over it." Let's call this person Fred. Fred has never been all that understanding of my chronic pain issues. Oh, it's not that he can't relate -- he has chronic issues of his own, plenty. He just takes a wildly divergent approach to managing them. Fred's always tried his best to offer sage advice, and I know that he believes he's comforting me when he says certain things. But so often, he misses the mark. I've tried for years to make him understand how it makes me feel, tried to explain my situation to him in a way that would provide a new perspective. I want Fred to get it. I want him to know that I'm no wimp, that I'm not lazy -- that I am doing everything I can do to take care of myself in a healthy, balanced way. All my other pals seem to get it, but not Fred.

Posted: 2/27/2006 in Venting  |  Also posted in: Relationships

The answer today is: no, you may not. But unfortunately, you probably won't bother asking anyway. Sounds like a bad date, right? Wrong. This is a regular occurence for me. People touch me. People I don't know at all, and people I've known forever. In public places, in private gatherings. They just feel the need to touch me without provocation. If they would just ask that simple question, so many negative experiences could be averted.

Posted: 11/23/2005 in Venting  |  Also posted in: Relationships

The National Women's Health Network announced to news subscribers today that the Food and Drug Adminstration has told Mentor Corporation that its silicone gel breast implant is "approvable" -- meaning that they could soon be allowed back into the market. Wow. We at ChronicBabe can't believe ladies are still considering these, with all the anecdotal evidence pointing to the negative impact they can have on health.

From the NWHN announcement: "The National Women's Health Network opposed approval of Mentor's breast implants because the company did not provide enough data to show that it would be safe for a woman to use them over the many years that the breast implants will remain inside her body. In fact, the FDA's own scientists who reviewed the application concluded that the company had not adequately answered the safety questions that the agency had asked it to address."

Read the FDA announcement here.

Posted: 7/29/2005 in Venting

Except for a few of them. I luv Bust and Bitch, and Venus is rad, and Ms. has it nice moments. But seriously, y'all, why does anyone spend any dough on these rags?

Posted: 7/23/2005 in Venting

So here I am, venting. Just getting started. I wasn't sure about including a personal blog on Chronicbabe.com, but the arrival of the damn Bliss catalog made the decision for me.

Posted: 6/7/2005 in Venting

Yup, Crud. With a capital C. Mega-cruddy. Crap-a-doodle. Yucky. So I'm taking a day off of work. That's right, no work. No work emails, no work phone calls, no filing, no sending of invoices. No writing about concrete. But I am taking a short break from the couch and bad daytime TV to remind you that there will always be days when you just feel like crud and there's no getting around it - even the busiest, most well-balanced Babes need to take a day off. Here's how I'm taking care of myself today.

Posted: 1/10/2006 in Coping  |  Also posted in: Venting

I am so pissed at the Gap. Used to be, a girl with a booty could buy jeans there, jeans that would make her heart-shaped badonkadonk look superfly. But for the past few years, all their jeans have seemed engineered for stick figures only.

Posted: 9/22/2005 in Fashion  |  Also posted in: Venting

How come when I go on vacation, my chronic has to come with me? Wah. Wannnnnhhh. Venting. Whining. Wannhh.

Posted: 9/17/2005 in Coping  |  Also posted in: Venting

Someone I'm very close to (let's call her Betty) recently said some things that really hurt me to the core, particularly regarding how I handle my Chronic. After many, many years of putting up with Betty's not-so-subtle digs, I decided that it's time for some distance. It's a tough decision, but one I had to make in order to take good care of myself.

Posted: 7/21/2005 in Relationships  |  Also posted in: Venting