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Blog Carnival #21: The dumbest thing ever said about chronic illness, and your snarky comeback

A welcome from Editrix Jenni Prokopy: People can be idiots. They just have no clue what we ChronicBabes go through when we live with chronic illness and invisible (or even visible) disibility. Some folks are well-meaning but ignorant, and I can give those folks some leeway; they often see the error of their ways if you explain your situation, and go on to be awesomely understanding. But there are other folks who are just plain blind to the experience of others. So for this carnival, we offer up a few examples of their idiotic comments and resulting ridiculous situations, and some snappy comebacks (and a few thoughtful analyses thrown in for good measure).

Diana at Somebody Heal Me would love it if folks stopped saying, "at least you've got your health." Because, well, she doesn't. So, you know, STOP SAYING THAT, FOLKS. Assuming people have their health is pretty ignorant considering that one out of two people in the U.S. live with a chronic illness.

Colleen doesn't usually blog but she wrote us a feisty piece that really had us rolling on the floor, howling with laughter. Some choice bits: "Bite my electric ass," "this hot body is really a road map to hell (of surgical scars!)"...are you intrigued? You're gonna love this Babe's perspective, which we're happy to host on ChronicBabe.com.

We reached back into the vault over at Kairol's site, Everything Changes, and found some pretty great advice on countering stupid things people say. Turns out she has some great, well-mannered approaches for handling stupidity! Who knew those were an option?

Selena at Oh My Aches and Pains gets the shivers when someone says they're sorry to hear about her "affliction." After calming down, she realizes the offending party could really use a walk in her shoes...so she came up with a video dedicated to folks who could us a walk in the shoes of others. Awesome!

The Migrainista doesn't have a witty comeback for her most annoying experience, and she's glad, because she feels like most folks who do it are well-meaning and she doesn't want to hurt their feelings. But she sure would love it if folks stopped saying "what if you tried... (fill in the blank)."

One ChronicBabe, Danielle (who also calls herself FabulousAndSick—love that!) doesn't have a blog but offers this little story: I just had elbow replacement surgery one week ago and a senior at my church asked if I could call 10 people on a call log regarding a meeting change. I reluctantly agreed. Then she asked if by the way, could I also call the remaining 30 people because she forgot to send the e-mail out in time. I told her no because I only have the one good hand, and she replied, "can't you just use the other hand?" I smiled and said, "No honey, It doesn't work like that." I guess some people are just inconsiderate of others' pain.

- I offer up this little story just to remind you that older folks don't get a pass just because of their age. I know this isn't going to be a popular sentiment among everyone, but I've learned that with age does not necessarily come wisdom. If you're young and in pain and it's not obvious, I don't care who's insensitive. You get to stick up for yourself. Nicely done, Danielle. -Editrix Jenni

Leslie at Getting Closer to Myself is tired of hearing, "you're too young for this." She has a great response: "Then why the hell is this happening to me?" Awesome.

Katherine has metastatic breast cancer (but she doesn't have a blog, which is why we hosted her response here at ChronicBabe). She thinks that being told, "you never know, you could get hit by a bus" is scant consolation, and she has a pretty hilarious solution involving a lot of big pink buses.

Sheli at 1734s has come up with many strategies to handle comments about her inability to drive. The one she's least proud of? Lying. Just little white lies, of course. But hey—sometimes it gets her where she needs to be, and no one gets hurt.

Rachel? Oh, Rachel. You are F-ing hilarious, says the Editrix, still giggling. Over at Tales of Rachel, she offers up some snappy comebacks related to mental illness. Two of our favorites: "I will get over my depression if you get over your rudeness" and "you are right, your haircut is worse than my worst panic attack." Just go read her post, OK?

Maria of Living Life in Recovery Mode is struggling with fibromyalgia, which a lot of us can relate to. She just hopes that before people ask questions they'll put themselves in her shoes.

And then Creaky Girl has to go and say the nicest thing ever and just RUIN the whole point of this blog carnival. Why'd you have to go and get all nice on us, girl? Here she goes: "There are stupid people everywhere saying stupid things: we just happen to hear the ones that affect us. What is harder sometimes is to remember to hear the things people say that aren’t stupid – the people who really matter and care for us rarely say the unthinking things." Well, that's not ALL she says in her post. She DOES drop the F-bomb. We're kidding. She didn't really ruin the blog carnival at all. She's actually pretty damn awesome. XO -The Editrix

Give us some feedback...

We're having so much fun running a blog carnival! But maybe there's room for improvement; we want to hear your suggestions. Let us know what you think of this edition in the discussion over at the Forum.

... and join us next time!

Want to participate in the next carnival? The next edition is on Monday, February 7, 2011 and the theme is getting through the heart of the winter blahs. It's cold, it's gray, it's snow-covered almost everywhere. How do you spice things up and keep having fun? Give us your tips, Babes! Send us your pics! Your favorite recipes! Your songs and games! We'll post it all!

If you want to participate, send us your name (as you would like it to appear), the name of your blog, the name of (and link to!) your post, and a 1-2 sentence description of the post. We'll let you know if you're accepted. Send all that to chronic babe @ gmail dot com. The deadline is Friday, January 4, at 10pm CST.

P.S.: Why not spread the love and submit a post from your favorite ChronicBabe blogger?

Tell us who you love to read and we'll include her, too!

Posted: 1/24/2011 in Blog Carnival | Also posted in: Venting

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