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What I've learned from being one-armed
by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix
Well, that's probably a little over-dramatic. I'm not permanently one-armed...I'm just not allowed to use my right arm and hand for a few weeks as I heal from surgery. But for all practical purposes, I've been one-armed for the past three weeks and I'll be one-armed for a few more.
Since smashing my wrist three weeks ago, I've learned a lot of things. Practical tips, new ways of relating to people, the value of pump bottles for shower products, and the strong power of gratitude when it comes to getting your head right.
Here are just a few of the things I've learned, in no particular order. No matter what your illness or disability, I hope you find them useful.
No. 1: Blog articles don't have to be long to be meaningful. When you can only type one-handed, and you're still getting used to voice recognition software, brevity is key.
No. 2: Your friends want to help you. Even though you might be embarrassed to ask, they'll say yes if you give them the chance—just like you would were the tables turned. Case in point: within an hour of my accident, my pal Sandy was by my side in the E.R. with lunch and distractions from the intense pain. Later that night Natalie brought dinner for us to share, and the next afternoon, Michelle brought me home from the hospital and helped me wash my hair, which made me feel entirely more human.
Since then, numerous friends have been by my side; Scott's always offering me rides (I can't drive until I heal), Carolyn brought me freezer meals so I don't have to cook, and plenty are just hanging out with me so I'm not lonely, making me laugh my ass off... you name it, they've done it. Not to mention my sister Lauren, who spent a week helping me right out of the hospital, and my mother-in-law Pat, who spent another week with me after Lauren had to leave. It's been pretty amazing. And it's all because I asked.
No. 3: There is almost always a way to get something done. I've learned to use my teeth to hold my toothbrush while I use my left hand to put toothpaste on it; I leave the tops of pill bottles slightly unscrewed so I can pop the lid with my teeth or thumb when I need medication if no one's home. In fact, I find myself using my mouth in a wide variety of new ways, which in another context would sound pretty dirty.
A friend of mine who went through a similar situation a few years ago suggested that I use my thighs to hold onto things, which again, taken out of context, sounds pretty dirty. But seriously: when you have a bottle of beverage that you really want to open and no one's around to help you, those thighs come in handy. That's what she said.—
I say all this simply to remind you that when you're stuck in a situation that feels unworkable. There are often ways to get around the obstacles in your path. It takes some creativity on your part, plus the decision to reach out and ask for advice wherever you can get it—and then put it to use.
No. 4: Maintaining a "gratitude attitude" is not just a cheesy platitude you hear on the Oprah show. It really is a way of living that can keep you strong during hard times. I'm incredibly grateful to my husband, who, among many other things, helps me tie my shoes* every morning...a small thing to him, but it definitely makes me feel better. I make sure he knows how great it makes me feel.
*And I'm switching to mostly Velcro shoes now that it's getting colder, an easy step to make my day more simple.
It's also terrific to be working in my loft space again with other freelancing friends who understand what I'm going through and keep me laughing through the tough times. They help me get there in the morning, they carry my laptop up the stairs, they giggle while listening to me learn my voice recognition software and provide great support and distraction. I'm still trying to come up with a way to show them how much that means.
The thing about gratitude is that it melts away bitterness. I could be hermitting at home on my couch, watching bad daytime TV, nursing my broken wing, whining about how hard everything is. But with all my experience as a ChronicBabe, I know that's no way to go. Instead I'm trying to thank every person who helps me along the way (including every nurse, orderly and doctor I encountered at the hospital during my brief stay there). To see the way some of them smiled when I said "thank you," you would think that they'd never heard the phrase in their lives. And maybe they don't hear it all that often in their day-to-day work. It made me feel good to see how happy they were to receive a simple thank you.
And that's a simple way to live, Babes. Give thanks—out loud to someone, or to yourself if it's appropriate—as often as possible. If you can try to focus on even the smallest good things in your life, like a home-cooked meal, help putting on your bra, or a ride to your office on a cold day, I promise you it will make the time pass faster and soon you will be healed... or least you'll be feeling AWAP (as well as possible).
OK, back to learning my voice recognition software, for which I'm thankful. ;)
