OK, I've slipped. So here are 10 things I promise myself today. What's your promise?

by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix

I've slipped. It's been a rough week and I totally threw my self-care regimen out the window. Let's see: I've eaten some horribly unhealthy meals, blown my sleep schedule to bits, relied more on medication when I could be using relaxation techniques to handle stress, overworked when I knew my body was ready to quit...the list goes on and on.

But I'm not going to beat myself up over this. I'm through playing that game—I used to get mad at myself all the time for being an imperfect patient, and then I would just feel even worse, the cycle would repeat itself...but no more. Now my aim is to just get real with myself, take ownership of what's mine, and do my best to take good care.

With that in mind, here are 10 things I promise myself today. I know I won't always be perfect with them, but I'll do my best.

1. Get over the guilt of not being "caught up" on everything in my life

So there's a couple hundred emails that need to be answered. And a stack of magazines I haven't read. And some phone calls I need to return. Hmm. I can either agonize about not accomplishing all of them, or I can get to work on the things I can do, starting now. I think I'll go with the latter—and anyone who needs me urgently knows how to find me. The stuff that can wait...will.

2. Find my workout rhythm again

To feel good most of the time, I need to stick with a workout schedule all of the time. That means hitting the gym, or the pool, or walking or bicycling or even dancing in my living room...anything that keeps me active. It's easy to blame bad weather for not going out, or a busy work schedule for missing pool time, but the truth is I can find time to work out every day as long as I commit to doing so.

3. Take time to plan meals (and the shopping they require)

One of the few things I have almost complete control over is my diet. I am what I eat, and when I eat crap, I feel like crap. So this weekend I started to get back into a healthy approach, with a little meal planning, making some healthy stew in the slow cooker so I have easy lunches all week, and busting out all my fave Cooking Light cookbooks.

4. Ask for help

Gosh, I need some help. Help getting caught up on all your emails, planning meetings, keeping the house tidy, staying positive...tangible things and intangible needs. But I can't get help if I don't ask for it, so I'm trying to make a list of the things I need help with so I can start checking them off one by one. (And of course, I'm ready to help others too—you get what you give, Babes, and I don't want to be that girl who always needs rescuing but is never around when you want to borrow a cup of sugar.)

5. Practice relaxation

And I do mean practice. Relaxation techniques are something that require a little skill, and you only get that through practice. The good thing is, they're kinda like riding a bike in that if you were good before, you'll get good again fast when you come back for more. So there will be a lot of diaphragmatic breathing going on at ChronicBabe HQ in the next few days...

6. Make time for more fun

It's summer, darnit, almost the end of July and this Babe hasn't seen a grain of sand. It's time to hit the beach! Yes, I'm busy with the site, and with work, and family stuff, and laundry, and relaxation techniques (see above) but that doesn't mean I can't have fun. I think a healthy approach is to have fun throughout the day (versus waiting for planned vacations or parties), build it into the schedule and try to make boring tasks more fun with good music or good company.

7. Own what's mine, and release everything else

I've been spending a lot of time this past week worrying about other people's business, and it's gotta stop. I can't control what other people do; I can only control the actions I take. So here I am, releasing everyone else's BS and owning my own. Aaaaahhhh...my load just got a lot lighter!

8. Celebrate every single success, no matter how small

I went to the gym today, and I freakin' rocked! Yeah! Woo hoo! Seriously, I was pretty awesome. I swam for 10 minutes and only took two breaks, even though my arms felt wobbly and weak from lack of swimming in recent weeks. So yeah, I'm the coolest! I kicked butt! And I'm gonna do it again tomorrow so watch out, all you other faster swimmers, cuz I'm gonna clog your lap lanes again and you're gonna like it!

9. Surround myself with awesome people

It's time to return those languishing phone messages and gather folks around me. I'm prone to depression, and alone time is not what I need right now—I need friends by my side. And only the coolest people are invited to the Jenni party. So if you've got a good sense of humor, great taste in music, cooking skills, fun kids, irreverent style...you're in the club. Get my drift? I once heard you should surround yourself with the kind of people you aspire to be, so that's the plan for me.

10. Forgive. Forgive. Forgive. And move forward!

It's time that I forgive myself for not always being perfect, for not doing every single thing possible to help myself at every moment. No one is perfect, so why do I hold myself to that impossible standard? I forgive myself for being human. I forgive myself for occasionally being lazy, and for throwing the occasional pity party. Big deal. It's OK.

And it's time that I forgive anyone who ever hurt me, or failed to believe in me, or neglected my needs or desires. I don't think anyone in my life has purposefully caused me harm. The few select people who are really toxic have no idea at all that they're bringing negative energy into my life, and I need to forgive them. And once I've forgiven them, I need to release them—remove them from my life, or build better boundaries so I can enjoy their good qualities and protect myself from their bad ones. Carrying around anger at those people is harmful to my mind and body.

And finally, I need to forgive whatever force has made me ill. Call it God, or Goddess. Maybe it's just genetics. Call it Mother Nature...or nurture. I don't know why I'm ill, but it doesn't matter. Being angry at something I can't understand is unhealthy. I forgive that force and I move forward. That's what I choose to do.

So...what's your promise to yourself?

What will you pledge to do for yourself, starting today? If any of my promises resonate with you, then try them out—and create some of your own. Write them down, tack the list to a wall where you see it every day, and then live it. When you're a ChronicBabe, there are things you don't have control over...and things you do. Choose to make the changes you can. That's the best we can do.

Much love, your humble Editrix

Posted: 7/20/2008 in Coping

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