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We're declaring Spring Break for ChronicBabes
by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix
Yesterday, I sent out a personal note to our Goodie Bag subscribers. It came from the heart, telling my struggle with taking time for myself during busy periods and the toll that ignoring my basic needs was taking on my body.
The letter resonated deeply with subscribers. I received more feedback emails than ever before, which tells me this topic goes to the heart of what many young women with chronic illness experience.
Writing this was a great reinforcement for me, and your emails helped even more. So I'm reprinting the article here, in hopes that you'll agree how important it is to take the occasional break.
A personal note from the Editrix: It's Spring Break for ChronicBabes
It's finally feeling like spring here in Chicago and, just like clockwork, I'm feeling the itch to take a little time off. If the kids can have a spring break, why can't the grown-ups?
But the past year's been particularly tough on me, and even though I've moved back home I'm now deep into unpacking and redecorating our condo. (After all, if you have to have your home almost completely destroyed by mother nature, you should get to make it super-pretty when you move back in, right?)
The upshot: Even though I want to take a little break, I find myself constantly trying to do more. "I'm feeling good," I think to myself. "I'll unpack boxes for an hour." So I do that, and when the hour's up, I think, "I'm feeling OK, so I'll unpack for another hour." That hour goes by and even though I'm getting really tired, I justify more work: "If I can just finish unpacking this pile I'll feel so accomplished," I think, and finally I'm too exhausted to fix myself dinner.
Wow. Really goes against the ChronicBabe way of life, doesn't it? I'm SO not practicing what I preach when it comes to pacing myself, putting my health first, and fostering balance.
I say all this not to whine (although regular readers know we sometimes have to "embrace the whine") but to find the lesson in the situation and share it with you.
Time to break old habits that aren't healthy
Many of us ChronicBabes lived years before we got sick, and for us, it's easy to fall back on old habits that don't support our new needs. Like, say, taking a gangbusters approach and spending three or four hours straight unpacking when we know we should just do an hour a day. Hmm.
And it's even easier to fall into old habits when we're in emotional or otherwise-challenging situations. We get worn down and we default to the way we were before we got sick, which wasn't necessarily a BAD way to be, but doesn't work so well for us today.
Time to get rid of the "I shoulds"
Even a ChronicBabe like me who's lived with fibromyalgia for 11 years and knows better sometimes falls prey to those old habits and the "shoulds." I "should" be able to unpack all weekend because I could do that before. I "should" be able to spend all day on my feet at Ikea because I used to do that all the time.
What I "should" do is take a page from my own book (I mean, web site) and chill out. A new mantra I'm breaking in is, "it would be nice if..." Sure, it would be nice if we could unpack immediately, but not a single friend will judge if we still have boxes in the dining room in May. It would be nice if the patio furniture was assembled, but it's still too chilly to hang out there anyway. See how powerful it is to say "it would be nice if" instead of "I should?"
Starting today, I'm declaring an official ChronicBabe spring break. I'm taking a few days off to just chill out. No assembling furniture until my hands ache, no long shopping trips that make my feet throb, and no marathon unpacking sessions. Just me, myself and my laptop...surfing the web, watching DVDs, listening to good tunes...recharging. I need it, and I deserve it.
So how about you?
Is it time for your spring break? I hope you'll think carefully before you answer; if your body is saying that it needs rest, please listen. In fact, I think "it would be nice if" you took the rest of the day off to pamper yourself and enjoy a little break.
Posted: 4/16/2008 in Coping
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