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5 steps to start the new year right

By Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix

I'm about to put a pretty crappy year behind me, and I've been thinking about resolutions for the new year, things I can do to kick-start a better trend in my life. Not that I've caused most of the bad things that I've experienced—tornadoes, car accidents and car break-downs, and illness (just to name a few) are completely out of my control. But I CAN control how I live in the wake of negative experiences.

I know the same might be true for you. Whether it's new or persistent illnesses (or anything else crappy for that matter), maybe you've had a tough year and you're ready to enter 2008 with a fresh mindset. I've got a few ideas that will get you in the mood for some major self-improvement. (If you've had a great year, terrific! Keep doing what you're doing. But still read on for some ideas to make it even better.)

Step 1. Create your own rituals

Whether it's your nighttime going-to-bed ritual, or your getting-ready-to-face-the-day ritual, positive behavior patterns are comforting. Start with one area of your life and write out a few steps you can follow regularly. Here are two examples:

Morning start-the-day ritual

The alarm goes off at 7:30am
I lay in bed for 15 minutes meditating on what I want my day to be like
A warm shower wakes me up, and I use my favorite foaming bath gel and enjoy the delicious aroma
A healthy breakfast of fruit/yogurt shake and a hard-boiled egg give me sustenance
I put on clothes that are comfortable and take 15-20 minutes to style my hair and put on a little make-up

This ritual is nice because it is all about-self care and gets you where you need to be: ready to start your day. If you follow it every day, your sleep rhythms will improve so you get more rest, the meditation keeps you centered and calm, etc. Now check out this one:

Afternoon take-a-break ritual

It's 3 o'clock so I close my office door (or head outside, or find a quiet place)
I enjoy a slightly indulgent snack of a small piece of dark chocolate and some berries, and a tall glass of water
I spend 10 minutes catching up on celebrity gossip at my favorite web sites
For 10 more minutes, I close my eyes and do some deep breathing, recharging for a couple more hours of work

You can adapt this kind of ritual to any situation, whether you work at home or in an office, or if your "mid-afternoon" break is really deep into the night, or you want to read a book or play sudoku...it doesn't matter.

The point of rituals is to build some predictability into your day, and to take a few minutes just for yourself. The habit becomes ingrained and you feel more centered and feeling "at home" doing it each day, even if you're away from your comfort zone. And it's a nice way to remind yourself that you're worth it, darn it.

Step 2. Dig out from under your "pile"

pile of paper Speaking from personal experience, there's nothing more intimidating than a big pile of to-do's sitting on my desk (or my coffee table, or my dining room table, or the kitchen counter...). With only the best intentions, I often set things aside so I can do them when I have more time, and then the pile just gets bigger and bigger until I'm afraid to dive in.

For your sake and that of everyone around you, it's time to dig out from under any piles you have in your home of professional life. They could be physical piles of stuff (like laundry, dishes, or bills) or mental piles (the running list you keep in your head of all the things you "should" be doing).

Piles are guilt-inducing. Piles are scary. Piles can often hide time-sensitive stuff that can cause you harm if you ignore (like mortgage payments or doctor appointment reminders).

One: Identify your piles

Take a look around your environment and make a short list of your piles. The stack of stuff you keep meaning to get tailored, or the eight borrowed books you keep meaning to read.

Two: Set aside some time to start tackling your piles

Maybe it's just 10 minutes a day, or maybe you want to take a whole Saturday...it's up to you. But schedule that time in your calendar like you would any other appointment.

Three: Get digging

Honor those appointments with yourself and start tackling your piles. It might feel impossible at first, or frustrating or even boring, but do it. After a little while you'll feel a sense of relief that you're getting this stuff done. And eventually, as the piles are whittled away, you'll feel a sense of freedom. Enjoy it!

Four: Celebrate!

You're pile-free. Yay! Give yourself a treat.

Five: Keep the piles from re-forming

You know that time you scheduled to get rid of the piles? Keep that regular appointment in your calendar FOREVER. That's your anti-pile time, and doing it regularly will keep your piles from re-forming. Rinse and repeat.

Step 3. Dust off your journal and get writing

write in a journal This one should be a no-brainer, but even a long-time ChronicBabe like me gets out of this habit sometimes. It's pretty simple: Buy a blank book of some kind and start keeping a journal. Things you could write down every day:

Exercise
Food and drink intake
Feelings and emotions
Dreams and goals
Medications and doctor visits

Write down as much (or as little) as you like, but do it every day. These notes will help you learn to take better care of yourself, and they can be useful to your medical professionals, or family members who sometimes care for you. It's a nice thing to do for yourself and in as little as 10 minutes a day, you're creating a wonderful tool.

Step 4. Build free time into your schedule

You may have spotted a trend in these five steps. Each of them asks you to designate time on a regular schedule to care for yourself in some way.

This is for good reason: As busy ChronicBabes, it's easy to let our self-care slip. Whether we're working hard, raising a family, or simply have otherwise unpredictable schedules, we need to make time and space to honor our needs.

Step four is all about making time for relaxation and fun. It could be 15 minutes a day, or every Wednesday night, or all weekend. It's up to you how much time to spend, and what to do with it. But if you don't set aside the time, it's almost guaranteed that it will get eaten up by some other task.

Some ways to build free time into your schedule:

Make an appointment with yourself in your computer calendar (with programs like Outlook and Google Calendar) or in your day planner
Tell friends and family (as appropriate) that this is your free time—hands off!
Use a service like Memo to Me or Google Calendar to set up automatic reminders to yourself to take time off (or anything else, for that matter)

You may feel silly scheduling appointments with yourself, but you'll stop feeling silly once you realize how nice it is to know that everyday Saturday afternoon is "catch up on Project Runway re-runs) time or that every day at noon you get to read another chapter of your new book.

Step 5. Practice thankfulness

This one is so easy, you barely need to think about it. But it's SO necessary it just might be the most important step.

With chronic illness, it's hard not to focus on the negative. You may have to think about your health every day, and how is that fun? In fact, it pretty much sucks.

But that's not all there is to life. There are good things, too, even if they're hard to spot. So you need to get into the daily habit of practicing thankfulness.

Spend a few minutes every morning, thinking about what you're thankful for. Thankful that you woke up, or that you have the energy to get out of bed, or that even if you don't...you're thankful you remembered to keep the remote on your nightstand so you can at least watch the morning news while you muster some energy.

Or spend a few minutes every evening before you go to bed, thinking about what you're thankful for. Thankful that you enjoyed another day. Thankful that you have a job, or a spouse, or a good friend. Thankful for chocolate or a cool breeze or a day with reduced pain. Thankful for soft sheets and working heat and fuzzy slippers.

It doesn't really matter what you're thankful for. What matters is that you take a moment each day to appreciate the things you have. Again, speaking from experience, it's kept me sane to be thankful each day. Thankful for a roof over my head, thankful for helpful friends, thankful for my asthma medication, thankful for the chance to help others.

Posted: 12/22/2007 in Coping | Also posted in: Inspiration

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