One woman's negativity is another woman's empowerment

by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix

* Is it possible to re-claim a word that has negative connotations and make it our own, turn it into something positive? We think so. Jenni Prokopy wrote this article for Young People For, and they've given us permission to reprint a slightly modified version of it here.

I've been labeled a lot of things since I started ChronicBabe, since I came up with this idea to support young women with chronic illness who prefer to think of themselves as Babes...who just happen to be sick chicks. Since I launched the project, some women have held me up as a role model (which is slightly daunting). I've even been called a superhero (which totally made me blush).

But today, I received a first: a reader said that I was "negative." Let's call this reader Jane.

I'm negative? Really?

"Urm, what?" I thought as I read Jane's email. I'm negative? The girl who changed her whole life around so she could pursue the creation of an online resource designed strictly to help young women feel empowered IN SPITE of chronic illness? The Babe who gave up a sweet living as a freelance writer and took a gamble on a brand new career path? The woman who devoted her entire life to bringing positivity to people in need? That girl is "negative"?

Here's Jane's argument: By claiming the word "chronic," I am reinforcing a negative energy of illness. By continuing to call myself "chronic" I am actually making myself sick. And of course, I'm also sharing that negativity with thousands of other people. Bad Jenni, bad!

"Why would you want to still consider yourself as being ill and constantly draw that negativity your way by labeling yourself as 'chronic'?" she asked in her email. "Get off the 'chronic' part of that way of thinking because then YOU WILL BE CHRONICALLY ILL," Jane explained.

Well, I've got news for you, Babe, I already am ill. And according to the fleet of doctors I've seen over the past 10 years, nothing's going to change that.

But I'm not writing today just to complain.

Her comments bring up an interesting question: Can we embrace the negative side of ourselves? Can we re-claim a word that has negative connotations and make it our own, turn it into something positive? Can we turn something yucky and make it into an empowering battle cry?

I'm sure you already know my answer: Heck yea!

When I first started my project, I chose the name ChronicBabe for many different reasons. I wanted people to know right away that the site is about chronic illness, and I wanted to focus on young women. A few colleagues wondered aloud if the word "babe" was sexist, and I agreed with them—in some cases. Plenty of people sling it around in a degrading way, but I thought, "let's make it our own." Let's make it mean "a young woman." Let's allow those young women to feel sexy, vibrant, wonderful again—to feel like Babes again after months, or years, of feeling like less of a woman because of their illnesses.

When the site was launched and immediately drew tons of response, those questioning colleagues agreed that I had made the right choice. Readers seemed to have no problem with me calling women Babes; in fact, to this day, most people LOVE that we use that word in abundance.

Back to my new pen pal...

Jane's message went on to say, "I've looked through your site and I see helpful things but I can't imagine going back and calling myself 'chronic.' I'd rather just see myself as a Babe."

Hmmm. Sounds like she likes the general idea; she just protests that single word. I think she's missing the whole point of the name itself.

Here's something I would love for Jane (and any other doubters) (and all of my readers) to think about: I also chose the word chronic because it means "perpetual." So when I think ChronicBabe, I don't just think "sick woman"—think "perpetually awesome" or "always incredible." I use the term as a rallying cry, and I challenge my readers to do the same, to think of themselves as gorgeous, successful, valuable, worthy people even when they're at their sickest.

A quick look around the web shows I'm not alone in this way of thinking

Take Gimp on the Go for example: The creator, Adam Lloyd, is a quadriplegic who offers excellent advice for travelers with disabilities. I'm sure there are folks who cringe at the word "gimp," which in most cases is pejorative. But Adam obviously uses it in a positive, humorous, memorable way. He made "gimp" into something cool.

And he's just one of hundreds of bloggers doing the same, like Cancer Bitch, Diabetes Mine, and Celiac Chicks...all excellent examples of writers who took words with negative connotations and created incredibly positive resources with them.

Taking a negative term or idea and flipping it on its head is one of the most powerful ways to combat negative stereotypes and ideas

This concept isn't unique to blogging—it's a practice used every day in popular culture. I'm just one of thousands, maybe millions, of people who've done it over the years.

So I challenge readers today to think about negative and positive words in their life. Do you bear a label? Is it negative? Can you turn it around into something positive? I bet you can flex those creative muscles and create a new battle cry for yourself, one that deflates any negative arguments and fills you up with positive energy.

In fact, since I created ChronicBabe, I've felt better than ever. In my darkest moments—when I feel awful, hopeless, frustrated beyond belief at the pain and fatigue I live with—I think of myself as a ChronicBabe. In those moments, I'm filled with an energy that's so positive and so empowering that I'm compelled to work even harder to find something good to grasp on to.

My desire to create something positive from what began as something completely negative has made me a stronger person, and it has given me hope. Chronic illness sucks, but being a ChronicBabe rocks.

Posted: 5/22/2007 in Venting | Also posted in: Inspiration