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Home » Articles » Relationships
The strange noises we make: Kind of a love story
by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix
Sometimes the oddest little thing can make us happy. This is a short story about strange noises and how they brought me and my hubbie Steve closer.
Like a very unhappy cat
Steve and I used to know a girl with fibromyalgia, and she made the oddest noises. Riding in the backseat of a car with her one sunny day, she went at it. It's hard to replicate the noise in words, but here goes: "Mmmmm. Meewwrrrrr. Meeehrrnn." Basically, she sounded like a very unhappy cat, kind of moaning low in its throat.
Now, dear readers, I have fibromyalgia, and I know what it's like to be in pain. I myself have been known to moan (and whine and holler) but I try to keep those noises within the privacy of my own home (or car, or occasionally in the locker room after a grueling workout). Occasionally I subject Steve to my moans and groans, but I try to keep it at a minimum. In fact, I generally find moaning to be unhelpful in reducing pain; instead, it makes me feel more whiney and unhappy. It just feeds my bad mood.
Anyway, back to our fibrogirl. That day in the car, I was a bit concerned about the sounds she was making. "Are you okay?" I asked her. "I'm fine," she replied...then made the sound again. "Are you sure?" I prodded. "Yes, I'm fine." Pause. "Meewwwrrrhh." Then her boyfriend, also riding with us, started prodding her about what was wrong. "Nothing, I'm fine," she insisted. "Meeehhrrnn. Mmmm."
It was clear she was not okay. And it wasn't until three of us had asked her what was wrong that she finally admitted she was uncomfortable wedged in the backseat with two other people. An easy issue to solve, to be sure. But instead of just saying that when we all piled in the car in the first place, she waited and then Mewwrr'd her way through the whole trip.
The noise becomes ours
When we got to our destination, Steve held me back from the group a few steps and started Meeehrrnn-ing into my ear. It cracked me up, and the rest of the weekend he made the noise as often as possible. Instead of "pass the salt" he would make the noise. When I said something he didn't understand, he questioned me with a plaintive "Meewwrrr?"
It was an instant inside joke. The more he made the sound, the more I loved it for its silliness. Of course, we never did it within her earshot—I would never want to hurt her feelings. (Although my guess is, she wouldn't have recognized the sound anyway; the more Steve did it, the more it morphed into its own little nonsensical noise.)
Sometimes I think about her choice of expression, and wonder...
Was she afraid to speak up about her needs? I'm not sure why—she'd already seen me ask for what I needed a few times that weekend, and everyone was cool about it. Was she looking for sympathy? She sure got it, but she annoyed the crap out of us in the process. (It was a long car trip.)
I don't know if I'll ever understand why some people play the passive-aggressive noise-making game, but I do know it doesn't pay off in the long run. If you want sympathy and support, it's a lot easier to just ask for it directly. And if you're a Babe with chronic pain, moaning at every discomfort will turn you into the girl who moaned wolf pretty quickly—and then when you're really in big pain and justified in moaning and groaning, no one will pay attention.
The noise in our house
Strangely, in our house, the sound is now an instant attention-getter. When I'm feeling really bad, I can just look at Steve, put on a pout and say "Meeehhrrnn" and he knows that I need a hug. Or when we see something confusing on TV, one of us will turn to the other and ask, "Meeehhrr?" and we crack up.
Once we were arguing over something silly, and Steve turned to me and said, in a booming mock-authoritative voice, "I said Meeehhrrr!" I laughed so hard tears rolled down my cheeks. And sometimes he'll just turn to me and make the noise, and I'm reminded of how much I love him. Meewwhhrrrr.
Posted: 4/15/2007 in Relationships
