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Fine art & chronic daily headache: A conversation with Christa Barnell

Christa Barnell is a fine artist living and working in Carbondale, Ill. Despite her chronic daily headache, Christa supports herself with art—and uses it as a sort of therapy. ChronicBabe caught up with Christa about her work, her headache, and everything in between.

ChronicBabe: How did you get started making art? What mediums do you work in or prefer?

Christa: My mom, Ann, is a high school art and(Spanish) teacher. She was always telling me how to see things: "nothing in the world is all one color—see the leaf and how it has highlights and shadows?" My mom always had good supplies for us to work with, cheap brushes or crayons would make even the best artist do crappy work. And she didn't give my brothers and me coloring books so instead we would have to create our own picture.

I like oil paints on canvas best. They stay wet longer so you can take your time modeling a face, and oils will last much longer than other mediums. Sometimes I collage things with acrylic before I paint on top with oil—that's how I did the “Post Angel.” (The Editrix's favorite!)

ChronicBabe: Are you able to make a living selling your work? Do you consider it your career...your calling...your passion?

Christa: Fortunately, I have had a steady flow of income from portrait commissions of people and pets. We just opened up an online print store and this should give me a little extra income—and will allow me to make some money off of the art that I paint for myself. I have been blessed with a fabulous customer, Miriam Trzciack, who has 10 of my original paintings. So it will definitely be my career.

I am really only geared for art—I wouldn't even be able to figure out how to use a cash register if I needed another job.

But most of all, art is my medicine. It keeps me focused on something else besides pain. During my worst summer of pain, I would have to wake up and go straight to the easel, skipping breakfast and brushing my teeth. If I didn't distract myself with something right away, I would notice the pain and just go back to bed for the day.

ChronicBabe: What themes do you like to address in particular?

Christa: So far I have addressed spirituality, nature, environmental issues, pain and escaping the body, school (which I didn't like), male/female stereotypes, life in a small town, relationships, childhood, and dreams. But mostly I just like to paint things that are beautiful. I just need beauty and color or I would wither away.

Also, I noticed that in the last four of my self-portraits I am on my knees. I think it is a vulnerable/ helpless pose.

ChronicBabe: I understand that you have chronic daily headache. How long have you had it?

Christa: I'm sure I have had a headache every day for at least 10 years but it wasn't until about five years ago that the headache became constant and chronic and never went away; only the severity goes up and down.

ChronicBabe: How has the headache impacted your life? Have you found things that help?

Christa: I started having to go to high school just half days because I was so tired, and I definitely didn't want to go to college. I went to Saint Francis University in Indiana because of their nice art department (and my parents insisted). My mom and dad had to drive up often from Modoc to Fort Wayne to take me to the emergency room to get a shot, or help me during stressful finals weeks. Once I was so sick my mom drove me to my doctor’s house and I went to stay overnight at the hospital.

I made it through, even though I was sitting in all of my classes with eyeballs that felt like they were about to pop out of my head. Other students were jealous that I had a private room and thought I was too spoiled to have a job. I had a nap/do not disturb sign on my door all of the time and a refrigerator to keep my cold head packs in. I made a friend named Emily and she was terrified of knives and needles and blood but somehow I talked her into giving me my Torodol shots on my butt, and I had her proofread English papers. My boyfriend gave me pain killer shots in my thighs—he had to practice on an orange because with the three to four inch needles it has to be a quick strong stick. He hated doing it!. And also I snuck a pet in the dorm. People in pain need pets to cuddle.

ChronicBabe: Which leads me to...does working on your art help your headache problems? Or is it more of a way to express your feeling about your headache?

Christa: I did try to describe my situation with my "My Life On the Shelf" painting, but really, if I were to paint just the emotion, it would be black and red—an abstract with a lot of anger. And then I would burn it for that added touch. :-)

"My life on the shelf" (left) is the painting where I have all the stuff I can't enjoy in canning jars, saved for later. And I have a happy face mask or people wouldn't want to be around me. You have to be a good actress. And I have my "thread of hope" in it.

ChronicBabe: Tell me about the award you received from the National Headache Foundation.

Christa: The National Headache foundation in Chicago had a Migraine Masterpiece Art Contest. It was national and open to anyone who suffered with headaches (so they had some child art as well—that was sad.) It was in 2003, and I received second place with "My Life On the Shelf.” I think on my site I describe how the painting represents the "heaviness and drowning" you feel with chronic pain. The art was displayed at the John Hancock building.

The NHF has a nice web site. The organization is about educating people about migraines, but they do sway a little too much toward pharmaceuticals for me. Coincidentally, the NHF recently did an article about Paula Kamen's book (All in My Head) in the Tribune and they used my painting to illustrate it. I had just previously written her an "I like your book" letter.

ChronicBabe: Do you have suggestions for other women with similar issues?

Christa: I have been telling other women to pick up Dr. Buchholz’s book Heal Your Headaches, in which he says stay off of the painkillers—most kinds will cause rebound headaches and keep you in a cycle of pain. He is really big on the headache diet and finally I am disciplined enough to follow it. I pay when I cheat. At least I have a little control over this disease. He also stresses exercise and preventative medication, and he tells people to get off of birth control.

I think wheat was a big problem for me and eggs but those are not part of the standard headache diet—you really have to figure it out for yourself. Get a migraine cookbook. Basically everything I was eating was keeping me in so much pain. Plato I think said "what is food to one person is poison to another." I can't eat at most restaurants or social occasions. Also, try to eliminate your stress.

Actually, I stayed at Saint Joseph Hospital in Chicago for two weeks. The Diamond Headache Clinic is there and they had an art workshop on their patient schedule. It was a rough ride there, very painful and very delirious. Paula has a chapter in her book about it titled "Mecca." My hair started falling out after my stay there because of stress or medications.

I have tried 40 different prescriptions and 13 different doctors and then alternative healers. There are a bunch of people with the exact same story, so that is really awesome you are doing this web site. (Editrix: thanks!)

ChronicBabe: Would you suggest that they use creative expression?

I think creative expression is a good outlet for everyone, but also if someone works at a job crunching numbers all day—doctors suggest that those people need to exercise their brains by being creative or they will get headaches. I understand that Emily Dickinson had chronic migraines. I illustrated one of her quotes, "Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without the words, and never stops...at all."

You can see more of Christa's art and buy prints at her web site: www.ChristaGallery.com.

P.S. - a disclaimer: We do our best to provide accurate information, but ChronicBabe.com is not meant as a substitute for professional medical care, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult your health care provider before embarking on any new treatment. Read our whole disclaimer here.

Posted: 9/17/2005 in Crafty | Also posted in: Inspiration

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Fine art & chronic daily headache: A conversation with Christa Barnell