All in My Head: A book review

by Jenni Prokopy, Editrix

Paula Kamen, author of All in My Head: An Epic Quest to Cure an Unrelenting, Totally Unreasonable and Only Slightly Enlightening Headache, is my new heroine. Her book embodies exactly the approach I strive for with ChronicBabe - finding a positive take on something outrageously negative.

Editrix's note: Buy Paula Kamen's All in My Head and support ChronicBabe!

At least four or five women urged me to read Kamen's book before I picked it up -- I was originally attracted to the bright orange cover, but I've also had bad experiences reading about chronic illness experiences. Striking a balance between my high hopes for the book and my apprehension about the possibility of it being depressing, I picked it up and dug in.

Man, was I overworrying it. Kamen's book is the best personal account of chronic illness experience that I've ever read. Backed by a rich history of feminist activism and research, Paula interweaves broader perspectives with her own story, giving readers a chance to not only ger to know her personally, but also to think about her experiences within the context of the larger health care system establishment. And it's damn funny.

I got to meet Paula at a recent fundraiser for Bitch magazine.
From left, hostess Linda Michaels, author Paula Kamen,
and Editrix Jenni Prokopy.

Pain models: The Amazing Cure, The Elevating Gift

Out of everything, the thing that struck me most about Paula's experience--and her writing--is how different she is from other women whose stories I've heard. Throughout my own pain odyssey, I've encountered two kinds of "pain models," the folks whose stories are out there for consumption. The first kind is the one I was most drawn to in the early years after my diagnosis: women who were very ill, disabled by their conditions, but who eventually found their own "cure" and are writing because they are convinced that their cure will work for you, too. Wow, are those appealing stories when you're achy and alone and freaked out.

The second kind of pain model I have encountered is comprised of women who have not found their cure--women who live in constant pain, or disability, or whatever--but who have achieved a sort of spiritual nirvana and are ready to share their gifts with others. They are still affected by their chronic thing, but are so happy to provide the "gifts" of their teachings that they're OK with their symptoms. I found these stories more appealing as I got used to living with the pain and fatigue brought on by fibromyalgia. I thought, "OK, these women are cool with it, and are sharing strategies that work, so I should get there, too."

But seriously, y'all, I couldn't get there. Using them as my role models, pain model #1 was unattainable. I kept thinking I just wasn't trying hard enough. And as Kamen writes about her experience, she's clearly--as many us have been--looking for the "cure." And it doesn't happen! And pain model #2 is no better. Sure, I have plenty of days where I'm at peace with my bod, and feel a sense of satisfaction and balance. But other days, I think: "Forget this. Pain sucks. I'm never going to feel good again. Waaaahh!" Does that sound like an appealing spiritual guru for pain folks?

The third pain model

As I finished Kamen's book, learning (spoiler!) that at the end of writing it her headache was, in fact, worse than ever, I began to cry. I cried because I felt like I knew her, understood her, in a way I never have felt after reading a biography. I wanted her to feel better. She deserved to feel better, and it wasn't fair. But I also cried because in those final pages, she materialized as my third pain model--someone I could truly relate to, someone to emulate.

Kamen recognizes her limitations, does everything she can to maintain optimal health, and even with big pain, manages to produce work that's entertaining and informing. She is incredibly smart and analytical, and hilarious, and irreverent--and all of that shows in her work. And when she has bad days, big pain days, she accepts that. Somehow, she balances everything, achieving her goals. She's not waiting for the "cure" to live her life. And she's not claiming that her experience, and the gift of her writing, has enlightened her in some cosmic way that lifts her up above her pain. She's just being Paula, writing what she knows and is passionate about, helping people in the process and enjoying it immensely.

Required reading for Babes!

When I told Kamen all of this at a recent fundraiser for Bitch magazine, she beamed. "You get it!" she said. Yes, I get it. I'm hella happy I read her book, and I continue to recommend it to everyone. ChronicBabes undoubtedly will recognize elements of their own experience, will enjoy the power of laughing at the absolutely ridiculous treatments people come up with, will feel the heartache of trying over and over again to find a "cure"--and, hopefully, rejoice in the revelation that Babes can still be Babes with a capital B even when their chronics are raging.

And...in case that's not enough, check out this praise for All in My Head:

Salon.com 4/15/05
"[An] unlikely and often hilarious memoir...will provoke anguished cries of recognition from anyone who's dealt with chronic pain... It connects the dots on this issue of women and chronic pain in a way nobody else has done, and it's a remarkable personal story as well."

Evergreen Monthly, Seattle, July 2005
"In the way that books like Andrew Solomon’s `Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression' helped to shed new light on the commonality and curious persistence of depression, Kamen’s book represents a leap forward in our understanding of the nature of women and chronic pain."

Biology Digest, May 2005
"Humorously self-deprecating...wonderfully insightful....Kamen takes her subject seriously because she's walked the walk...Highly recommended!"

Boston Globe, 3/13/05
"Darkly humorous.....Kamen's head may be threatening to explode, but she manages to keep her sense of humor intact. Her prose is a pleasure, and as a fellow headache sufferer, I found this book packed with useful information. She covers diet, doctors, and alternative therapies, and even researches physiology. For readers who have headaches and for chronic pain sufferers, this book is a must-read......"

New Scientist, 3/26/05
"Written with passion and a remarkable sense of humor."

Shape Magazine, June 2005
"With the tireless consumer activism of Ralph Nader and the sardonic wit of Saturday Night Live's Tina Fey, Kamen's tale is essential reading for anyone suffering from chronic pain."

Chicklit.com, 6/1/05
"A well-researched, well-written memoir...cogent, informative and highly readable...This is honest, searching writing."

Library Journal, 2/15/05
"Documents the failures of our medical system to deal with chronic pain...Engaging, informative, and at times humorous."

Chicago Tribune, 2/13/05
"Gripping...Kamen takes us inside the world of chronic pain...a necessary book."

Curled Up with a Good Book.com
"A must-read for those living with chronic pain...a groundbreaking book."

MSNBC.com, 3/25/05
"Kamen's personal story, and her quest for relief, is fascinating."

Body+Soul, May 2005
"Equal parts memoir, science journalism, and cultural critique, it looks at the headache and its treatment from every possible angle."

Posted: 7/17/2005 in Cool Tools

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By Date:

All in My Head: A book review

Pain models: The Amazing Cure, The Elevating Gift

The third pain model

Required reading for Babes!

And...in case that's not enough, check out this praise for All in My Head: