10 ways to make more time for yourself - start today!

by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix

time's a wastin' Women spend way too much time taking care of other people. We want to please our bosses, take care of our kids, support our friends, be good girlfriends or wives, go to every PTA meeting, lead a Girl Scout troop, host the best parties...it's exhausting!

When we get sick, those demands on our time don’t stop—and we often try to keep meeting them, at the expense of our own health. Here at ChronicBabe HQ, we think it’s time for change! It can be tough to stand up for our needs, but it's crucial.

When you’re a sick chick, you’ve got to watch the clock: there are doctor appointments to squeeze in, a sleep schedule to follow, medications to take at precise intervals, and—oh, imagine that!—a full life to lead. It takes a little practice, but you can find more time to do the things you love. Today, I'll walk you through a few tricks I use to make the most out of every day.

1. Set a schedule for yourself, and do your best to stick to it.

I have a schedule I try to follow every weekday: I get up around 7:30am, shower, have breakfast, stretch, and I'm in the (home) office by 8:30. At 10, I leave for the gym and any errands; by noon I'm home again for some more work. I take an hour for lunch and (highly rejuvenating) rest at 1pm, and from 2 to 6 I'm back in the office (with a stretch break around 4). By 7, I've had dinner and now I can do whatever I feel like: watch TV, go to a movie, hang out with friends or hubbie Steve - whatever. At 10 I stretch again and start winding down, and I'm in bed by 11.

Now, I'm not a perfectionist, and I don't follow my schedule to the minute - and there are days it goes right out the window, like during a big pain flare-up, or when I have outside work meetings or travel. But I try to follow a similar schedule every weekday. The result: my body is in a rhythm, and I have a good idea of how long different tasks take, so I can balance my day. That hour of rest in the middle is great - it allows me to work more later in the day. And having a regular sleep schedule has improved my quality of sleep immensely. (The National Fibromyalgia Association offers some great resources on good "sleep hygiene.")

Think about how you want to run your day, and create a schedule that works for you. Try it for a couple weeks, and adjust it as needed - it might take some time to work out the details. I guarantee that once you find your rhythm, you'll feel less frantic even on the busiest day - and you'll have more energy to get things done.

2. Live "off-peak."

laundry You know the best time to shop for groceries? Weekday mid-mornings. The worst time to go to the bank? Friday afternoons (a.k.a. paydays). Whenever you can, do errands at "off-peak" times.

Pick up your dry cleaning on your lunch hour instead of on the way home from work. Talk with your boss about skewing your schedule so you miss rush hour traffic, like working from 10 to 6, instead of 9 to 5. Take an exercise class on Sunday mornings, when lots of people are sleeping in. If you work for yourself (or part-time) use that flexibility to run errands at odd hours.

Just a few simple steps to perform time-sucking tasks during off-peak times can save you hours each week, which you can use to catch up on your sleep, exercise, enjoy a hobby...anything!

3. Get served!

Make use of services that make your life easier and give you more spare time. I love Peapod grocery delivery, which brings my food when it's convenient for me (and they even carry it up a few flights of stairs). Yes, it costs a tiny bit extra. Yes, I'm worth it. Even smaller cities and towns usually have a grocery store that will deliver, and many drugstores now deliver prescriptions. You can also try NetGrocer, or Google "grocery delivery + your city" to find a local provider. And Amazon now delivers non-perishables across the country.

cleaning supplies in pretty bottles I used to think having a cleaning service was an indulgence, but now I consider it a necessity. Twice a month, a very nice woman comes and cleans our home (and my home office) in about three hours, for less money than what I charge clients for an hour of freelance writing work. It would take me an entire day to clean like she does, and I would flare up and have to take the next day off. So, let's see - pay someone a small fee to clean so I can be more productive, or save that money and lose four days (16 work hours) a month to clean it myself. Hmmmm.

When it comes to laundry, I'm lucky - my hubbie doesn't mind doing most of it. But if he hated it, I would consider using a laundry service. Many cities have cleaners who will pick up and drop off laundry for pennies per pound. Again, this might seem like an indulgence, but for Babes with low energy, it's worth the minor expense to get those hours back.

And finally: errand service. For folks who truly want to hand off all the chores, there are businesses who will take over. (Some examples are listed at the "My Errand Service" online directory.) Again, think about the time you gain in exchange for this minor expense. It may seem odd to hand your to-do list to someone else, but if it means you can work an extra five hours a week, or have one less day you feel exhausted or in pain, isn't it worth it?

4. Embrace the kitchen timer. And caller i.d.

We all know people who love to talk our ears off, who want to suck us dry. Some folks call them "emotional vampires" and the bad news is, you can't ward them off with garlic. But you can use a kitchen timer.

Get a call from aunt Hilda, who's nagging you about being single? Set the timer for 10 minutes and when it buzzes, you've got to go - your pie is ready to come out of the oven. I use my timer all the time, for both work and personal calls. (You can get timers that aren't loud enough for other folks to hear, or you can use your cell phone alarm and set it to vibrate.) Maybe you can spare 30 minutes; maybe only 5 minutes. It's your choice - but it's up to you to enforce.

And when you really don't want to talk to folks? Use caller i.d. Even the cheapest $20 phones from Radio Shack now come with the service. Don't feel guilty as you listen to the call go to voice mail. You're protecting an irreplaceable asset: your time.

5. If you can, use public transit.

I know what you're thinking: "Public transit often takes longer than using my car!" But guess what you can do while sitting on the bus or train? Catch up on reading, for work or pleasure. Use your headphones to listen to some good music - proven to improve mood and lessen pain. (Or "read" an audio book.) Write a letter to a friend. Enjoy a fruit shake. Use that time to just "veg out" - look out the window, enjoy the scenery, watch the seasons change.

on the beach Maybe it's the only time of day you can just be quiet and take a deep breath - a great time to practice relaxation exercises like diaphragmatic breathing or visualizations. Take advantage of it.

6. Group "like" tasks.

This is a little trick I learned at a seminar years ago: group "like" tasks together throughout your day. For example, if you have four phone calls, schedule 20 minutes and make them all in a row (instead of breaking up an entire afternoon or evening with scattered calls). If you have three errands to run downtown, schedule an hour to do them all at once (instead of sprinkling them throughout the week).

This might seem overly basic, but most people don't think this way; they get caught up in the moment-by-moment and do things on the fly. If you can plan ahead, you'll save time. I take it one step further: I found a nearby shopping center that has a bunch of services I need. Each day I take 15 to 30 minutes and head there, where I pick up my work mail, send packages, make photocopies, do my banking, visit the dry cleaner, get basic groceries we need - and sometimes grab a bouquet of flowers. Smooth!

7. Thumb your nose at perfection.

unmade beds are ok I mentioned earlier that I'm not a perfectionist. Well, I have a confession: I'm a "recovering perfectionist." I used to freak out over every detail, laboring over simple tasks for WAY longer than necessary. The bed always had to be made perfectly. My office desk had to be absolutely clear each night before I stopped work. If I started a task on Monday morning with the goal of finishing it by Monday night, then darn it, I would work through the day until I was exhausted and/or in big pain, just to finish it "right."

Ugh. That kind of pressure is just plain ridiculous! It's okay to sometimes let things slide. If you're super busy, skip the hospital corners for a few days if it yields you an additional 10 minutes to meditate. If you're planning a big party, maybe you should avoid handmade invitations, especially if using store-bought cards saves you an afternoon of valuable time.

And if cooking a Martha Stewart-inspired 5-course dinner for that party is going to exhaust you, why not go for something simpler so you can really enjoy that party, instead of worrying over every detail? Your friends don't need perfection - they need you, happy and healthy, well-rested and relaxed.

8. Set aside weekly "prep" time.

Speaking of cooking, my biggest obstacle to healthy eating is the weekday rush. So instead of trying to cook meals from scratch each day, I sometimes take a couple weekend hours to do a bunch of "prep."

cut veggies For me, that means chopping a ton of veggies for salads (I use a Cuisinart so I don't hurt my hands), throwing a few chicken breasts on the Foreman grill (and then slicing and bagging them for future meals), slicing a bunch of strawberries and bananas for breakfasts, and divvying up snacks into single serving-size containers.

Not only does this prep make meals easier to prepare throughout the week, but it also keeps healthy snacks in front of me - reducing the chance that in an overworked, overtired, deadline-driven fog I stumble into the kitchen and eat a whole bag of Fritos. You know how that goes.

9. Start embracing your "new" self, even with its limits.

You're young, you're smart, you're awesome and you don't want to be held back by your illness. I get it! I really do. But sometimes you need to get real and examine your abilities. (This one's not so much about finding more time, but about using the time you have wisely.)

Maybe you used to work full-time, volunteer at a soup kitchen once a week, knit scarves for everyone, have great hair every day, party with your friends both Friday and Saturday nights and play softball on Sunday mornings. Things are a little different now because you have (multiple sclerosis, fibromyalgia, asthma, lupus, fill in the blank) but you don't want to compromise - you're afraid you'll be less of a woman, less fun, less YOU. (See, I told you I get it!)

So here's the deal: you might not have to give it all up. You can still have a lot of fun if you cut the partying to just Saturdays, volunteer every other week, don't promise a hand-knitted scarf to every friend (just a couple of your best friends), rock a ponytail every once in a while when you need to sleep late... you get the picture.

get in the tub and relax! It might take your friends some time to adjust. It will definitely take YOU some time to adjust. But I can tell you from personal experience that you'll enjoy the stuff you DO choose to do a lot more, if you have the physical and emotional energy to really dive in. If you stay in denial and insist on keeping things "normal" you might push yourself into very unhealthy territory.

(I really know how this works: when I first started experiencing symptoms of fibromyalgia, I kept my workouts the same, determined to swim two miles every day no matter how bad I felt. The result: I wore myself down until I couldn't exercise at all for a few months, gained a bunch of weight, felt like a failure, and am only now working back toward my workout goals - nine years later. So please do as I say, not as I did.)

10. Declare some ME time.

You are queen of your domain! Declare some ME time. For me, it's Sunday - I get to do whatever I want. Maybe it's hanging around the house. Maybe it's seeing a flick with the hubbie or friends. Maybe it's even running errands if I feel like it. The point is: it's my choice, and no on else's. Pick a day, pick part of a day, heck - pick an hour each week, whatever works for you. That time is yours to do with as you please.

Posted: 4/2/2007 in Coping

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