A new take on business travel: Ask for help

by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix

Despite activity-limiting pain, I recently confronted my fear of business travel and made the leap - and learned some valuable lessons about asking for help and healthy traveling.

I am a fiercely independent person. Asking for help is not easy for me - so much so that a group of my closest friends once surrounded me and begged me to get over myself and let them help once in a while. It's hard to get used to asking for help, but I've started to do it more.

In recent months, I've had the chance to put my ability to ask for help to the test. I currently have severe foot pain that limits the amount of standing and walking I can do, so I asked friends to help me and my husband, Steve, pack for a move to a new home. They came through with flying colors and the move was the easiest ever for us. At first, asking for help was hard, like admitting weakness or defeat. But what I learned was that my friends didn't see me as weak - they actually were proud of me and thrilled to be part of a joyous new step in my life.

For a while, I let the foot pain keep me from traveling. The prospect of standing in airport lines and walking through long terminals freaked me out. But making it through a strenuous move showed me that I could conquer a physically-demanding situation. So when I was presented with an opportunity to speak at a client's meeting in Orlando, I took the chance and said yes.

My first "ask": recruiting the surly cab driver to load and unload my suitcase from the cab. He grumbled; I shrugged it off. Usually I would try to show how strong and independent I am and do it myself. But really, it's just a damn suitcase.

My second "ask": pushing the check-in attendant for an aisle seat closer to the front. They get these requests all the time, but usually not from smiley, cheerful people who say please and thank you. I got a great seat instead of the rear-end middle seat the client bought me.

I live in Chicago, and fly United a lot. That often means walking through this gorgeous tunnel to the C terminal - a distance about the length of a football field. So I was not thrilled to find my flight to Orlando would take me on this hike. But the peoplemover helped, and because I was flying at a slow time, I was able to sit down on it, take some fun pics, and just enjoy the ride. Yes, I got a few weird looks. But who cares? Sometimes my tootsies only need a couple minutes of break time to feel better.

At the gate, my next "ask" wasn't even an ask - more like a "do". I took my shoes off.

Mothers everywhere are probably appalled. Frankly, a couple years ago, if someone next to me removed their shoes, I would have turned up my nose. Not anymore. Folks can give me the stink eye all they want - I felt much better shoeless.

My next "ask": while waiting for my shuttle at Orlando's airport, I wanted to sit on a bench occupied by a young couple and their copious luggage. I asked for a spot. Like the cab driver in Chicago, they grumbled; I shrugged it off. I started to feel my bossy self and it felt good.

At the hotel, I asked my client for a couple modifications to the next day's speakers' options: a stool in case I wanted to sit during my presentation, and a lavalier mic so I could be heard if I did so. A little part of me cringed as I did it, knowing they would pay extra (hotels always ding for those things). But they did it with a smile - they know a comfortable speaker will do her best job.

At the cocktail reception that night, I was wiped out - a long travel day under my belt, and I wanted to be fresh for the next day's work. I joined a colleague for a drink and after a few minutes of standing (everyone was), I asked him if he'd join me in a sit-down. "I am so relieved you said that," he said. "Everyone stands forever at these things, and all I ever want to do is park myself in a cozy chair."

Suddently it occurred to me: I am not the only person who wants to feel good. In some cases, I might be the first - or only - person in a situation to make that happen, to ask for things that make it easier. So maybe I have to feel a little bossy, or do something that gets some odd looks, or feel like I'm asking too much. In reality, odds are I'm voicing - or doing - what other folks want as well.

The trip was a success. I was pooped when I got home the next day, but I felt like I had conquered a big fear: I had traveled successfully, even with some pain, and I had practiced asking for help with great results.

I hope you are asking for help when you need it. Sometimes a little ask can open a big door, expand a friendship, deepen a trust. If you're used to doing it all yourself, it may sem a little scary, but trust me - you'll get over it and instead feel empowered and supported.

P.S. - a disclaimer: We do our best to provide accurate information, but ChronicBabe.com is not meant as a substitute for professional medical care, diagnosis or treatment. Please consult your health care provider before embarking on any new treatment. Read our whole disclaimer here.

Posted: 6/12/2005 in Coping

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A new take on business travel: Ask for help