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Hustling, humility, and a plea for support
by Jenni Prokopy, the Editrix
I love a challenge. So when my best girl Natalie challenged me to join her in the Hustle Up the Hancock a few months ago, I said yes. (We're actually signed up for only HALF of the whole hustle, and by ONLY, I mean ONLY 52 FLIGHTS OF STAIRS to climb.) My boyfriend Joe is so awesome that he pledged to do it too. It's for a great cause: the Respiratory Health Association of Metropolitan Chicago.
For months, I've been training, doing the Stairmaster and slowly working my way up to 75% of my goal. (Another athletic pal told me I could make it up the rest of the way on the big day, powered by adrenaline.) I ran it past all my docs and they encouraged me to pursue a big fitness goal. (They tweaked my meds and offered advice.) Overall, I have improved my health by training. When I hit the gym the other day and nailed the 75% goal, I thought: cool! I can do this!
Here's the problem. I actually can't. Not without severely injuring myself, that is.
This has been so hard to admit. After training hard on Friday, I spent Saturday and Sunday a total wreck, in bed or on the couch most of the weekend. I cried much of the day yesterday. I've struggled to work the past few days because the pain has translated into my upper body. (I'll spare you the rest of the gory details, but suffice to say, I'm a bit of a mess today, still.)
As THE ChronicBabe, I've taken pride in pushing myself, in living beyond the limits my body wants to place on my life. And that's the drive that made me try this challenge.
The part of being a ChronicBabe that i forgot about, at least temporarily, is the part that is kind and loving, and patient, and has EYES WIDE OPEN TO REALITY. Even though training has been extremely hard on my body and has caused me to have many flare-ups, I kept pushing. I thought, if so many other folks can do this, I should be able to work up to it, too.
The kicker? The thing that made me decide to beg off? I've had two massive asthma attacks in the past two days. You know, the very disease the charity benefits is telling me my body can't handle this training.
Admitting that I can't achieve this challenge has been extremely difficult. But once I reached a place of acceptance yesterday, I decided to come clean with my friends and family. Part of being a ChronicBabe is filling people in on reality—even when it's not as pretty as you want it to be.
Of course, I'm still supporting the event—and I need to meet my fundraising goal. I'll be there to support Natalie and Joe as they climb—and my heart will be filled with respect and love for them, for supporting a charity that is so close to my heart. (Because, you know, it's about lungs. Ba-DUM-bump. Tip your waiter!)
If you can spare even a dollar, it will help me reach my goal. Here's my sponsorship page.
And I know Joe and Natalie are still raising funds. Here's Natalie's page. And here's Joe's page.
I sent a version of this post to my friends, family, and colleagues earlier this morning. And I hope y'all find it a useful lesson, too: that you can still feel proud of setting a big goal, even if you don't reach it all the way. I'm proud of the fact that I tried something outside my comfort zone, and that I love myself enough not to injure myself out of pride.
Again, thanks for taking the time to read this...for considering donating...and for being awesome.
Much love, Jenni, your humble Editrix
Posted: 2/19/2013 in Coping
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