Okay, I’ve got to remember to go to the dry cleaners, and call my health insurance about the EOB, and make sure I take my new vitamins this afternoon, and paint my nails for a photo shoot, and, and write a handful of emails, and… whew! I am overwhelmed!
So it really resonated when one of our fellow #ChronicBabes emailed me to ask about overwhelm. (Did you know you can request a video on specific topics or questions around chronic illness life?)
It’s easy to get overwhelmed when we have chronic illness, because there are so many things to juggle—and the world is just overwhelming all on its own! I hope you find some of my tips helpful.
*AWAP = As Well As Possible
Now it’s your turn:
What kinds of things help you get calm and tackle overwhelm? I want to know! Tell me all about it in the comments below.
Want more #AWAPwednesday? Check out our #AWAPwednesday video playlist, which has more than 130 videos packed with practical advice, lots of humor, and bloopers. Lots of bloopers.
Is there a question I can answer for YOU? Add it to the comments below, or shoot me an email.
Until we meet again: Be AWAP! Smooches!
(Rough) Transcript:
Hi! I’m Jenni Grover Prokopy of ChronicBabe.com and today is AWAP Wednesday (that stands for As Well As Possible).
Each week, I offer you my personal favorite tips and techniques to help you craft an incredible life beyond illness. Yes! I know you can.
Subscribe to the ChronicBabe YouTube channel today to make sure you never miss another video, OK?
One of our fellow #ChronicBabes wrote me recently with a question about overwhelm. She’s been feeling more and more of it since she got sick, and she wondered if I sometimes got overwhelmed, too—and what I do about it.
Girl, you KNOW I get overwhelmed sometimes! Not only do I have a handful of chronic illnesses to manage, but I also run my own business teaching women how to live full lives in spite of being sick chicks, and I’m finishing writing my first book, and I have a couple of time-consuming hobbies, and friendships and a husband to maintain, and… I am SO with you on the overwhelm thing.
I have a few tricks up my sleeve when it comes to handling overwhelm. Here we go:
Make a list. I know, it sounds obvious, but seriously: Make a list. Sometimes I use the reminders app that’s built into Apple computer products, so my lists are synced across all my devices. Sometimes I use the Evernote app if I want to make a list of things I share with my husband or a friend, so we can collaborate. And sometimes I just use good old-fashioned paper and markers.
Get it out of your brain, babe! That’s one of the biggest sources of overwhelm: Trying to keep it all in our head. Especially when we have cognitive issues from chronic illness, this can make it even harder. Make a list!
Schedule it to make it real. If you’ve got a bunch of tasks to tackle, but your days tend to drift by without completing them, it’s time to schedule those tasks. Sure, you may have to move things around if you have a flare-up or a surprise doctor appointment, but get them on the calendar. Wishing we could get stuff done doesn’t lead to success: committing the time to get things done does.
Make peace with imperfection. If you’re anything like me, you’ve got a little bit of Type-A personality going on, and you want things to be “just right.” The problem with this is, fear of imperfection can stop you from trying to accomplish something. It’s time to let go of imperfection and the desire to do things just like you used to, or perfectly, or “just right.” Sometimes, finished is better than perfect.
Give yourself a breather. If you experience times when overwhelm just takes over and you get anxious or sweaty or frustrated, take a breath. I mean, literally: Take a breath. Take a few minutes to do some relaxing breathing techniques, like diaphragmatic breathing. Or meditate for 10 minutes to quiet your mind. If you’re panicking about all you need to get done, you won’t complete it, and then you’ll be even more freaked out. Breathe…
Enlist help. Maybe there are chores you can hand off to your kids or spouse or roommate. Maybe you can hire someone to do housework or lawn care for you. (Use an app like TaskRabbit, or post a flier in your local cafe.) Maybe you have a friend who can take over your spot on the PTA for a few months so you can get more caught up. Maybe you can talk with your boss about sharing some responsibilities with another co-worker if your current workload is too much. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and delegate.
I’m just scratching the surface here, babe. There are many ways you can avoid overwhelm altogether, or alleviate overwhelm when it occurs — if you commit to trying a few of these tips.
Use your tools — and your personal network — to say bye-bye to overwhelm.
Thanks for watching today! I would love to hear how you conquer feelings of overwhelm. Here’s your assignment: Share one thing that really helps in the comments below, or head over to the blog at ChronicBabe.com to join the conversation—I want to hear what YOU have to say.
If you liked what you saw today, subscribe to my YouTube channel now. And while you’re at it, head over to ChronicBabe.com and sign up for my weekly #AWAPwednesday newsletter, where I share exclusive personal stories, advice, and insights that I don’t share anywhere else online.
Until we meet again, be AWAP! Smooches!
Hello Jenni,
I tend to get overwhelmed OFTEN. There is so much expectation to take on so much, that you do get stretched to the limit. I am a single mother, with a chronic illness and I am in a demanding management position. -I also have difficulty saying “No”.
Some of the ways I combat being overwhelmed is by:
1.) Opting out of some activities. My 5 year old daughter has a ballet recital in May with 4 shows. I just can’t do it and I told the director this without getting too personal. I am sad to say I can’t make every PTA, but I have to stay on my feet. People will understand.
2.) Taking down time. I rarely have downtime. My job sometimes takes me through lunch, but I have to get away from my desk, or the office, because I will always be working.
3.) I have routine bedtime 9:20 a.m. – 6:20 a.m. It keeps me balanced. I have difficulty getting up in the Winter months.
4.) Weekends, -I allow myself to sleep and rest when I can. Sometimes, I avoid making the bed or mopping the floor, because we need to be OK.
5.) During work, I take breaks frequently, or I change up the activity. This keeps me fresh and keeps my brain functioning.
6.) I walk away from stress. Stressful people and stressful situations, I just remove myself. It’s not about anyone’s feelings, it’s about my health.
7.) I take hot baths or treat myself to a massage. This is MY time for myself which instantly rejuvenates me, revitalising my tender areas.
8.) I list / add to my calendar what needs to be done and check off each activity. I get annoyed with the inadequacies with my illness, so this helps keep me in check.
9.) I do have to vent sometimes, just to get the edge off. So, I do have a small circle of people I can confide in / ask for help.
10.) Forgive yourself. I have to do this everyday. I have great expectations for myself that are overreaching. I have to learn that I will sometimes forget things, be too sick, or be unable to get everything done. I just can’t do it all.
THANKS, JENNI!
oh, goodness! this is an amazing list. you should make my videos! 😉 seriously – thanks for sharing all your advice, lee-ann. hugs!
Ive felt overwhelmed for awhile now….but I keep a running list of things to do…and even though it is over two pages long a lot…I try to do JUST ONE THING on it each day. Much depends on how I am feeling each day as to what I can accomplish…but doing one thing means I can scratch it off the list and know I at least accomplished something. Today I pushed and got two important things done…got my drivers license renewed and got my car tag renewal done. Whew…two major things off the list and I am feeling so great.
I also keep a list (can you tell I have fibro fog and have to write everything down) of things to do on bad bad days when I can’t accomplish anything…things that help me feel better. Then if I have a bad day I know which list to use…the list of self care ideas. I love pinterest and have a self care section with many suggestions for taking good care of myself on “those days”.
i love that you have a list of what to do on bad days – such a great idea!
Hi Jenni. I recently learned of your website in a chronic pain magazine & what a wonderful resource you have created for those living with chronic health conditions. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 1999 (@ age of 29). I developed symptoms in 1998, after having my son in October 1997. Life has certainly been challenging, depressing, and overwhelming at times. Finding balance (living life and resting) and knowing my limits has helped.
When I feel overwhelmed, I take some deep breaths and regroup first. Then, I figure out what my priority is right now. If something absolutely has to be done, I tackle that one thing in front of me at “this” moment. I often break tasks up in that fashion. For example, I’m a Registered Nurse and work 12 hours. Anxiety starts before I go to work. I go over the benefits of my employment in my head, I say a prayer for the patients I will be caring for, and I get ready taking one moment and task at a time. I also break my work shift into 4 hour intervals mentally and that makes the 12 hour shift more doable. I’m fortunate to only work 2 days on the weekend and get full time benefits.
One my days at home, I listen to my body. I try & get some physical exercise and consider it physical therapy. The exercise helps me feel like I’m doing something for me mentally and physically. However, there are days that pain and fatigue do not make this feasible. On those days, I listen to my body & rest. On the rough days, if I get one chore done, I accept that I did the best I could.
Bad days can lead to lots of housework and bills to pay and that is overwhelming. I just set goals to do what I can today, no matter how small. The small efforts lead to tasks getting tackled. I, too, used to think in a perfectionist manner. That if I couldn’t give it 100% or get it all done the way I want, it’s not worth doing. But, fibromyalgia has required me to change that way of thinking. Little efforts matter. Little efforts are something. And, on a rough day those little efforts feel like BIG efforts.
We all need to treat ourselves and others with kindness and love. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. Just take some breaths and figure out what’s important right now. Handle the urgent matters if you’re able. Take one moment at a time, breaking tasks up into small manageable bites.
Wishing you all the best.
thank you so much for this thorough and thoughtful reply! i really appreciate your ideas – and your generosity. and i’m so glad you’ve figured out a way to work that is do-able! welcome to the chronicbabe community 🙂
PREACH!!! Took the words out of my mouth
<3
I am so excited to find this blog!!! I have been a chronic pain sufferer for ten years and I was just going to start a blog about navigating through the broken medical system!!!
Thank goodness, I found you! I feel less alone just knowing this blog exists. Thank you for taking the all consuming pain patient saga and creating pratical and meaningful tips to survive!
I can’t wait to read more!!
hooray, thank you! i’m so happy to be here for you.
Music encourages me and sets the stage for joy, crafts, playing my favorite instrument – traditional mountain dulcimer.